All of Me Read online

  They’d gotten through all of the introductions and now Nathan and Nina were outside talking shop while Marco was throwing a ball around with the girls. Pops and was mid-Matlock marathon and Stella, Carla, Fi, and Gigi were cooking.

  “He’s gorgeous, Stella. And he seems like a sweetheart,” Carla said, chopping some tomatoes for the salad. “And you look really, really happy.”

  “I am.” Stella looked through the kitchen window. When Nathan caught the ball Marco tossed him and started playing with the kids, her heart ached.

  Is it fair to hold on to him when you can’t give him a family of his own?

  Stella shook off the maudlin thoughts. There was always adoption. And even talking Nathan into that would be an uphill fight, considering what kind of father he thought he’d be.

  Stella smiled back at Carla. “He’s the greatest guy I’ve ever met.”

  “Hey! What am I, chopped liver?” Pops called from the other room.

  They all laughed. “Besides you, of course, Pops!” Stella called back. “And Marco! And the boys!”

  “He’s very serious, Stella. And quiet,” Fi said. She walked a bread basket into the dining room and came back. “He’s kind of intimidating.”

  “Opposites attract,” Gigi chimed in. “Like Marco is a real pain in the ass and I’m an angel…like that.”

  A raucous outburst of laughing and guffawing followed.

  Gigi’s brows rose. “What are you all saying?”

  “That Marco is a frickin saint and you are a huge pain in his ass,” Kat said and everyone else echoed the sentiment.

  “Thanks a lot, sisters,” Gigi said, grinning.

  “But you’re right, Fi. He is serious. And he’s all about following the rules. Exactly. And he doesn’t talk unless he has something to say,” Stella said, watching his muscles flex and glisten out in the sun.

  Damn he looked delicious in that backwards hat and those sunglasses. She melted when Nathan cracked a smile at Gabby’s hysterical touch down dance.

  “Unlike someone else we know who rambles on and on just to fill the space, breaks all the rules on purpose, and is completely emotionally unstable. Ow!” Fi yelped when Stella pinched her. Fi rubbed at her arm. “Just making an observation, Stell, geez.”

  Gigi leaned in. “Is he so incredible in bed that you can’t even stand it?”

  “Yeah, Stell…spill.” Fi grinned as she hugged the water pitcher to her chest. “Details, please. Now.”

  Stella looked around to make sure no one was within earshot. “Without getting too gross and personal about it, I will just say that he is amazing.”

  Even Carla sighed and she was a lesbian.

  “There’s something crazy that happens when you really connect with someone…” Stella shook her head, a slow grin spreading across her face. “We can’t get enough of each other. And I am so crazy in love with him it’s not even funny. Like, didn’t think it was possible in love. Like, soul mate in love.”

  Gigi and Carla sighed, smiling and nodding.

  “Okay, okay, I’m gonna barf,” Fi said, but she kissed Stella’s cheek as she walked by. “No need to rub it in for Christ’s sake.”

  “I know it’s sickening. Sorry,” Stella said with a laugh.

  “Sounds nice, Stella. I’m happy for you.” Kat leaned her cane on the counter and wrapped both arms around Stella. “You deserve to be happy. And if Nathan makes you happy, then I am thrilled for you both.”

  Stella tightened her arms around Kat and fought back against sudden tears.

  Because Kat might not ever find anyone. She was a tough nut to crack; introverted and super intelligent and very difficult to get to know. Kat was beautiful, but she had a debilitating neurological disease and not too many guys in their twenties – or any age – were looking to take that on. Stella worried about her. Often. But at least she had the family and always would.

  “I love you, Kitty-Kat,” Stella whispered, pulling her in even tighter.

  “I love you too, Stella, but you’re suffocating me.”

  They both laughed as Stella loosened her grip. Stella turned and wiped her tears before Kat could see them.

  Everybody got called to dinner. Stella was very happy to see that Marco and Nathan seemed to getting along well. Marco was the easiest going man on earth, but Nathan? Well, just like Kat he was a pretty tough nut to crack. And not big on physical contact, which was why Stella had to bite back a grin when, in the span of about 30 seconds, five people touched him in various ways. The poor guy looked ready to bolt for the door.

  But he didn’t. He sat down between Nina (wise choice as she was also not a big toucher) and Gigi’s oldest boy, Carlo (who was staring up at Nathan with adoration). Carlo wanted to follow in his Zia Nina’s footsteps and become a police officer and so to spend time with a male police officer was like Carlo’s idea of adolescent heaven (minus the naked women, video games, and pizza rolls).

  Water and wine was poured and the bread basket passed as Gigi doled out heaping helpings of homemade ravioli, gnocchi, stuffed shells, and sausage and peppers to everyone. Nathan didn’t say a word as Gigi loaded up his plate, even though Stella knew he wasn’t going to be able to eat a quarter of it.

  Stella met his eyes across the table and smiled warmly. He reciprocated with a Nathan smile: eyes barely crinkled, lips barely lifted, and still managing to look stern. Stella mouthed “I love you” and watched a flush creep up his neck as he did a subtle glance around to see if anyone had noticed. Luckily for him, everyone was so busy stuffing their faces and talking that they hadn’t seen Stella’s apparently mortifying declaration of love.

  Carlo asked him a question about what kind of gun he carried.

  “Don’t you answer that, Nathan!” Gigi called from down the table. “That boy is becoming a CPA or a doctor. No more police officers in this family. I can hardly sleep at night as it is!”

  “A CPA? Really, Gig?” Nina scoffed as she cut up some sausage for Sam. “What, you want him to bore the rest of us into early graves?”

  “Better to be a bore than having my baby buried six feet under over at St. Matthias.” Gigi signed the cross. “It’s too dangerous, right, Nathan?” She widened her eyes to emphasize her desire for Nathan to play along, as if her overdramatic enunciation wasn’t enough. “He should do something else, right? Because being a police officer nowadays is too dangerous, right?”

  “Ma!” Poor Carlo looked mortified. He glanced at Nathan’s stoic expression then back at this mother. “Stop. Please.”

  Carla asked Kat a question about some new medication she was taking and the conversation veered that way. Out of the corner of her eye, Stella saw Nathan very subtly lean left toward Carlo. After he’d made sure Gigi wasn’t looking, she watched him tell Carlo that he carried a Glock 22. Carlo’s eyes lit up as he peppered Nathan with questions about other police stuff; which Nathan listened to intently and answered patiently.

  Stella wanted to yell at him to stop being so perfect. To do something horrific and mean and upsetting. Because this guy would not let up on her. She spent all day, every day panting after him and this polite, patient behavior with her family wasn’t helping. And neither had watching him putz around her house all day fixing things. Or waking up to find out he’d detailed her car and watered her lawn.

  It was all too much for one woman to bear.

  They finished dinner and cleaned up (Nathan adorably dried the dishes Stella had washed). She managed to hug him once and pinch his butt a few times when no one was looking, which earned her some stern expressions.

  “I’m gonna go get some fresh air. Come out when you’re ready,” Pops said to Fi who was driving him home.

  “Okay, Pops. Be right there,” Fi said. “I just have to ask Kat something.”

  Pops lifted his hand in a wave and walked out the side door.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Nathan extended his hand to Marco and then Carlo (who hadn’t been more than a foot from him all night). “Th
ank you for having me. And for dinner.”

  Stella’s sister, Gigi, opened her arms and smiled at Nathan expectantly.

  “Uh, Nathan’s not a big…”

  Gigi wrapped her arms around Nathan and squeezed. “You are more than welcome. Any time. Stella loves you, so we love you. And pretty soon we’ll love you just because we do.”

  Aaaaaaaand there it was. Adoption complete.

  Stella pulled at Gigi’s arm, laughing. “Okay, cara, you can let him go. He gets it.”

  Gigi and Marco stood there beaming at him for god-knew-what-reason.

  “We’re just so happy you came. You’ll come next week again, right?” Gigi asked.

  Shaking her head, Stella shoved at Nathan’s arm. “You can go wait in the car. I’ll be right there.”

  Nathan didn’t have to be told twice. He said goodbye to everyone else and stepped out onto the side driveway.

  Stella’s dad was sitting on the porch, smoking. He smiled at Nathan as he walked up. “I love them all, but they are a handful, eh? Lots of women in one space is never easy.” His smile faded. “And it’s always hard being all together without my Francesca.” He took a long drag on his cigarette. Stella’s dad looked back at Nathan. “You remember her, yeah? My wife Francesca?”

  Nathan nodded.

  “She worried about you. A lot. Cried and cried every time you came in.” Mr. Ciaramitaro shook his head. “It was a damn shame. We called the authorities again and again and nobody would do nothing.” His eyes, as dark and deep as Stella’s, met Nathan’s. “I’m very sorry about that, son. I want you to know we tried.”

  Nathan was feeling way too much about way too many things to speak. Or do much more than simply nod again.

  “I couldn’t believe when Stell said your name. I never thought I’d hear it again.” Mr. Ciaramitaro took another drag. “I’m so glad to see you turned out fine.”

  Yeah, not really.

  Nathan cleared his throat. “Mr. Ciaramitaro…thank you…for all of the food you gave me back then.” Nathan leaned against the porch support post and crossed his arms over his chest. “You literally kept my brothers and I alive for all those years.”

  Stella’s dad waved off Nathan’s gratitude. “Frannie and me always thought we should have done more. And then one day you disappeared and we worried. But Frannie prayed the rosary every day for you. Lit candles at the church too.” Mr. Ciaramitaro smiled. “She’d be so happy to see how you turned out. And that you are making our Stell so happy.”

  Nathan’s throat tightened and he wondered how Mr. C would react to him punching the porch post. Or sobbing. “I’m sure you have…concerns…about me seeing Stella. But I want to assure you that I am more than capable of taking care of her. And that I’m nothing like that person you used to know.”

  “Person?” Stella’s dad scoffed. “You were a starving, scared little baby.” He wagged a finger at Nathan. “But so smart. And always so polite.” Mr. C dropped the Camel butt on the porch and snuffed it out with the heel of his shoe.

  He stood and faced Nathan. And even though Nathan was about six inches taller, Mr. C seemed bigger than life. “My Stella is so smart too. And tough. You know about what she’s been through?” When Nathan nodded, so did Mr. C. “Yeah. My baby. But she’s always been my tough one. My little spitfire. And so, if my Stella says she loves you and that you make her happy, I know that’s how it is. And that means all of my Frannie’s prayers came true, huh? She always thought we should have taken you in and now here you are…a part of our family after all.”

  Thank God Stella chose that minute to come through the front door. Because Nathan was dangerously close to bawling like a little bitch in front of Stella’s dad.

  “Ready to go?” Stella gave her dad a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. She must have sensed some weird tension because looked back and forth between them a few time. “Everything okay here?”

  Mr. C waved off her concern. “Fine. Good. I was just telling your caro about new refrigeration system we put in at C’s.”

  “Yeah, you and Nathan are two peas in a pod with all that boring, mechanical, tool stuff.” Stella wound her arm through Nathan’s. “And you’ll be happy to know, Pops, that Nathan was as disappointed and concerned about my messy garage as you always are. He’s already been poking around in there. Pretty soon I won’t be able to find anything.”

  They said their good-byes and Nathan and Stella hopped into his Denali.

  “So, was it as bad as you expected?” Stella asked, wincing.

  “It was fine. They were all great.”

  “Were you able to eat anything?”

  “Yeah.”

  Stella eyed him. “Did Pops say something that upset you?”

  “No, Stella, he was fine. It was fine.”

  “Can you talk to me about what’s wrong then?” she asked quietly.

  “Stella, Jesus Christ, nothing is wrong. Do we have to talk every minute of every day? I just spent hours being more social than I usually am in months. Just let me decompress, okay? Without the interrogation. Please.”

  “Can we talk about it later at least?”

  Nathan shrugged.

  Stella threw her hands up. “Well, then let’s do it now! Because it’s gonna happen one way or another, Nathan, so let’s get it over with! I won’t be able to sleep otherwise. So, come on! Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on with you, okay?”

  Nathan laughed. Out loud. He shook his head. “You are the most stubborn, pushy, nosy, relentless, verbal human being on this planet.” He looked over at her. “You know that, right?”

  When she said “yeah” with a resigned sigh, Nathan laughed again.

  Stella took his hand and held it in both of hers. “I just want to know what’s going on in your head. I can’t stand that I can’t tell how you are feeling or what you are thinking. It drives me nuts. And talking about stuff is always a good idea. Holding stuff in is bad for you, you know?”

  Nathan scoffed. “That is your personal philosophy for sure. I’m not sure it’s an accurate one, but it’s yours –no doubt about that.”

  Stella’s lips curled into a little smile. She kissed the back of his hand and he turned his hand to run his fingers along her jawline. A few seconds later, his eyes met hers and they were smoldering.

  Stella laughed. “Oh, yeah?” She tapped her lips with a fingertip. “I say, no heart-to-heart, no bump and grind. How about that?”

  “We’ll see about that.”

  Stella didn’t know if Nathan was attacking her because he wanted to have sex or distract her or both, but she didn’t really care either way. Not when he was pressing her up against the door like this; pinning her wrists to the back of her front door with his hands and going after her mouth like he was starving for her.

  Stella broke their kiss, panting. “Let go. I want to touch you,” she half-begged, pulling at his hands. But Nathan didn’t let go. He came after her harder, deeper, and his hold never let up.

  Stella groaned into his mouth and Nathan leaned his pelvis into her. The feel of his rock hard erection pressing against her clitoris did nothing to quell her desire to put her hands all over his body.

  Without warning, Nathan lifted her up – hands gripping her butt and pulling her into him. Stella wrapped her arms around his neck for leverage and kissed him back hard as he carried her into the bedroom.

  It took him three seconds to rip her clothes off – and his own - and toss her back on the bed.

  After smoothly positioning himself on top of her, Nathan pinned her hands above her head. And Stella groaned in frustration.

  “I need this, Stella. To do this to you,” he whispered huskily against her throat. He tightened his hold on her wrists. “Like this.” Nathan licked up her carotid and then gently bit her collarbone. When his breath hit the damp skin of her ear, Stella shivered.

  And then it hit her. Somehow she realized. She sensed his need to control this situation. To control her. And she was more than fine with
it.

  Stella met his eyes. “I’m yours, Nathan. I belong to you. And only to you.” Nathan’s breathing grew harder and faster and his eyes widened. “My body belongs to you. Do whatever you want to me. With me.” Stella spread her legs beneath him. For him. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes.

  Stella’s eyes popped back open when Nathan released her wrists.

  Nathan was still straddling her. Eyeing her up and down with those hooded whiskey eyes. “Don’t move,” he commanded and Stella nodded.

  Nathan left and came back a few seconds later. Stella couldn’t see what he was carrying, but she heard the clink of metal on metal.

  A rush of adrenaline and fear and excitement swept through her body as Nathan climbed back on top of her. And then all of it surged again when she saw what he was holding.

  The cold steel of his handcuffs against her wrists felt shockingly good. Actually, incredible. Stella jumped a little with each click of a cuff. When Nathan was done, she gave them a tug for good measure.

  They were snug. And cold. And hard. And Nathan’s eyes were on fire.

  “I’ve been wanting to do that to you since we met,” he said hoarsely, eyeing the cuffs. Nathan shook his head. “That night, I remember…when I grabbed you…all I could think about was using my handcuffs on you. To restrain you.” His eyes dropped to hers. He ran an open palm over the bulge in his pants and grabbed himself. “So I could fuck you. Hard.”

  “Nathan…” Stella moaned and writhed beneath him.

  “I’ve never used my cuffs…that way. A ton of women have asked, but I never did. Because the thought of restraining a woman during sex never seemed interesting to me.” Nathan ran his hands over the cuffs, down her arms, and over the sides of her body. “But with you…I don’t know why…I couldn’t get it out of my head.”

  Nathan trailed his fingers from her hip to her aching core; which he seemed very pleased to find swollen and drenched for him. With a sly smile she loved and hated, Nathan flicked at her clitoris. When Stella cried out, he lowered his head and sucked it into his mouth. Which just about threw her over the edge, but not quite.